Posts in Relationships
Clues That Someone is About to Leave Your Church
Clues That Someone is About to Leave Your Church

In looking back at my years of being a lead pastor, one of the hardest issues to handle was when an individual or family would leave.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, when people leave the church, leaving church, changing churches, change churches, church wounds, loss of passion, loss of vision, unclear vision, importance of relationships, relational connections, relationships, criticism, dealing with criticism, volunteers, why volunteers quitComment
Of Screens and Phubbing
Of Screens and Phubbing

Screens dominate our lives. TV screens, computer screens, smartphone screens, tablet screens, gaming screens, video conference screens. We are screened like no other generation in history.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, listen, phubbing, screens, screen time, attention, pay attention, pay attention to others, listening, active listening, active listenerComment
Responding to the Signs of the Times
Responding to the Signs of the Times

I came across a quote from a pastor named J.D. Greear recently that powerfully gripped me: “Those who care about the future of the Great Commission will devote themselves to multiplying and sending, not gathering and counting.”

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Skills, Relationships, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, contextual intelligence, sign of the times, signs of the times, men of Issachar, trendsetter, trendsetters, trend setter, opportunities, ideas, ideationComment
A Multiplying Mindset
A Multiplying Mindset

I came across a quote from a pastor named J.D. Greear recently that powerfully gripped me: “Those who care about the future of the Great Commission will devote themselves to multiplying and sending, not gathering and counting.”

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Discipleship, Skills, RelationshipsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, Discipleship, discipleship, discipling culture, multiplying, multiplication, Great Commission, go and make disciplesComment
The Importance of Unlearning
The Importance of Unlearning

Pastor and author Mark Batterson got my attention in a big way when he wrote, “Half of learning is learning. The other half of learning is unlearning. Unfortunately, unlearning is twice as hard as learning.”

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Relationships, Heart, Discipleship, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, humility, unlearning, learning, Mark Batterson, Sermon on the Mount, sermon on the mount, White Lies, diversity, race, white supremacy, Discipleship, spiritual formation, character, The Other Half of Church, Jim Wilder, Michel Hendricks, right brain, left brain, transformation Comments
How the Mighty Have Fallen
How the Mighty Have Fallen

One of the most popular business books in recent decades was Good to Great by Jim Collins. For a season, it was a must-read for leaders and their teams.

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Relationships, Heart, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, motivating people, hubris, pride, arrogance, entitlement, Jim Collins, Good to Great, King David, when leaders fall, when church leaders fall, abuse of power, humilityComment
8 Elements of an Effective Staff Meeting
8 Elements of an Effective Staff Meeting

Let’s be honest. Most of us don’t love staff meetings. They are often boring, too long, and sometimes even irrelevant. And yet, we all know that staff meetings are a must if our teams are going to have any chance of staying on the same page.

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Relationships, Skills, Pastoring 101, Church StaffDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, church staff, staff culture, staff meeting, staff meetings, boring meetings, relational connections, agenda, meeting agenda, vision, values, vision and values, introverts, extrovertsComment
Every Leader Needs a Coach
Every Leader Needs a Coach

Once again Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has won the MVP for the National Football League. It’s the third time he’s been given this high honor.

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Relationships, Heart, Discipleship, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, Discipleship, spiritual formation, transformation, coaching, coach, Bill Gates, Aaron Rodgers, teachable, teachability, self-improvementComment
The Power of a Compliment
The Power of a Compliment

When it comes to leadership, there is one practice that is often overlooked yet is exceedingly important. That is simply giving a sincere compliment.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, compliments, giving a compliment, complimenting others, encouragement, encouraging others, culture change, building culture, Leo Buscaglia, Mary Kay Ash, make me feel important, Mark Twain, creating a positive environment, motivating peopleComment
Responding to Mistreatment
Responding to Mistreatment

As shepherds, we who lead in the church have both the privilege and responsibility of tending and guiding our flock. We can take great satisfaction when that flock is flourishing and healthy.

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Relationships, HeartDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, urgent but not important, mistreatment, criticism, critics, dealing with exhaustion, handling critics, vindication, sheep who bite, when sheep bite, accusers, accusationComment
Urgent vs. Important
Urgent vs. Important

Dwight Eisenhower is noted as saying, “What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.” This "Eisenhower Principle" is said to be the basis for how he organized his workload and priorities.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, urgent, important, how to prioritze your time, Dwight Eisenhower, Eisenhower's Decision Principle, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, not urgent but important, urgent and important, not urgent and not important, urgent but not importantComment
5 Steps of Apprenticeship
5 Steps of Apprenticeship

When we think of the Apostle Paul, typically we consider him as a church planter and a letter writer. Yet it’s important to understand that he was also a disciple-maker.

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Relationships, Skills, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, Discipleship, discipling culture, disciple-making, discipleship, disciple, apprentice, apprenticeship, steps of apprenticeship, Eric Metcalf Comments
A Word From Immanuel
A Word From Immanuel

One of the most beloved names given to Jesus in the Scriptures is Immanuel – God with us. But more than a theological truth regarding the incarnation, or pretty words to sing at Christmas, Immanuel – God with us - is a reality you and I can experience every day.

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Discipleship, Relationships, HeartDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, Christmas, holidays, stress, ovewhelmed, overwhelmed leaders, immanuel, Immanuel journaling, I see you, I hear you, I understand, I am with you, I can help you, attunement, listening to God, hearing from GodComment
ICNU
ICNU

In his outstanding book Hero Maker, Dave Ferguson posits that leadership at the highest level isn’t about attracting followers but about developing other leaders. It doesn’t settle for being the hero. It is committed to making heroes.

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Discipleship, RelationshipsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, heroes, making heroes, hero, leadership development, developing leaders, Dave Ferguson, Hero Maker, ICNU, I see in you, recognizing potentialComment
The Subtle Threat of Mixing Religion and Politics
The Subtle Threat of Mixing Religion and Politics

Most of us are probably familiar with C.S. Lewis’ classic work, The Screwtape Letters. For the uninitiated, Lewis writes from the perspective of a senior demon, Screwtape, to his nephew and protégé, Wormwood, on the various ways to get “the patient” to turn away from “the Enemy” (God).

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Heart, Discipleship, RelationshipsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, politics, politics and religion, Charles Colson, Chuck Colson, Screwtape Letters, Screwtape, C, C.S. Lewis, CS Lewis, C. S. Lewis, citizen of heaven, citizenship, citizen, unity, division in the church, religion and politics Comment
Addressing Your Exhaustion
Addressing Your Exhaustion

I have talked with scores of pastors since COVID hit in the middle of March. Every single leader has said the same thing: “I’m exhausted.” It seems that it’s the one thing everyone can agree on right now. Eight months of pedal-to-the-metal leadership has left many feeling totally depleted.

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Relationships, HeartDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, heroes, making heroes, hero, leadership development, tired leaders, exhaustion, fatigue, dealing with exhaustion, overcoming exhaustion, fill your tanks, joy, healthy rhythms, rest, rhythms of rest and work, Sabbath, Leadership, tired pastor, exhausted pastorComment
The Practice That Transformed My Devotional Life
The Practice That Transformed My Devotional Life

In my 40 years of walking with the Lord, I’ve worked hard to maintain a disciplined devotional life. While that commitment has proven to be valuable, I’ve got to admit that at times it’s been more duty than delight.

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Heart, Discipleship, Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, joy, interactive gratitude, gratitude, appreciation, thanksgiving, thanks, journaling, Immanuel journaling, Immanuel, listening to God, hearing from God, how do you know it's God's voice, discerning God's voice Comments
Why People Resist Change
Why People Resist Change

In my years of pastoring, I had to lead my organization through a lot of change - from major paradigm shifts to small operational adjustments. In that process, I’ve discovered a couple of key truths regarding change.

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Skills, RelationshipsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, positivity, change, leading change, leading through change, resistance, resisting change, organizational change, culture change, loss, sense of loss, grief, anger, anxiety, confusion, loss of power, loss of comfort, loss of control, loss of familiarity, loss of stability, validate, validationComment