Addressing Your Exhaustion

I have talked with scores of pastors since COVID hit in the middle of March. Every single leader has said the same thing: “I’m exhausted.” It seems that it’s the one thing everyone can agree on right now.

Eight months of pedal-to-the-metal leadership has left many feeling totally depleted.

None of us have ever had to lead through a pandemic. We’ve never had to shut down our church services for months and move to entirely new platforms of communication. And we’ve never had to navigate so many problems, changes, and shifts as we have during the last eight months.

There is good reason to be exhausted. But we can’t stay there. Exhaustion is particularly dangerous for pastors.

Tired leaders, exhausted leaders, start making bad decisions. Bad church decisions can harm your church. But bad personal decisions can totally take you out of the game.

Honestly, there is no way many of us can continue at this pace without breaking down physically, emotionally, or relationally.

That being the case, allow me to offer some suggestions for addressing your exhaustion.

1. Recognize that the rhythms of work and rest that served you well in the past, may not be sufficient for the present.

The tendency is to think that all we need to do is return to those old, familiar practices. After all, they got you this far, right? The thing is, you put those old practices in place for the purpose of handling what was the norm.

However, what we’re facing now is no longer the norm. That being the case, you might have to build in more margins, take more frequent breaks, and get more sleep, in order to maintain your equilibrium.

I encourage you to do so – without guilt.

We’ve seen in both college and pro football that when the quarterback goes down, the whole team is negatively affected. As the quarterback of your church you need to do whatever it takes in order to stay in the game.

2. Prioritize that which you must give primary energy to while cutting back on other tasks.

This current context of leadership is requiring a whole new set of responsibilities – on top of the old responsibilities. You won’t have enough energy to do both.

Thus, you will need to consider what you and only you can do. Be ruthless to prioritize those things and put them into your schedule.

Consider what you and only you can do. Be ruthless to prioritize those things.

Then consider what you could cut out. Should you preach less? Should you hand off pastoral visitation and counseling more? Should you not attend certain functions? Should you cut down on your number of meetings?

And remember to build margins into your schedule. They will be essential for those occasions when you need to make a quick pivot.

3. Don’t neglect to take a genuine Sabbath. It’s more important than ever.

The tendency will be to compromise on your day off because there is simply so much to be done. Don’t do it. God gave us the gift of Sabbath, indeed mandating it in the Ten Commandments because we would be tempted to keep pushing when under pressure.

Remember that the Sabbath is not a reward given when the job is done. It’s a gift you’ve been given even though the job isn’t done.

If necessary, have your spouse, a good friend, or your church board monitor your Sabbath-taking. At times we need folks like that to remind us of its importance.

4. Make time for life-giving relationships that fill your joy tank.

The first relationship to invest in is that which you have with God.

Scripture tells us that in the presence of the Lord is fullness of joy (Ps. 16:11) and that the joy of the Lord is your strength (Neh. 8:10).

Put that all together and it would seem that if you want the strength God promises, the way to gain it is to build joy, and the best way to build joy is to connect with the Father who loves you. Spend time in the presence of the One who sees you, hears you, understands you, is glad to be with you in this, and wants to help you.

The best way to build joy is to spend time in the presence of the One who sees you, hears you, understands you, is glad to be with you in this, and wants to help you.

One way to practice this is to engage in “interactive gratitude” (a tool I introduced in my last post). Or it might be through music, or memories of times of deep connection to God, or through nature. The point is to do the things that help you to connect to God and enjoy His presence.

Secondly, make room for those horizontal relationships that pour into you rather than drain you. These times have created an increase in the number of needy people. In order to keep from running on empty, you will have to actively seek out those who help meet your needs and bring you joy.

In order to keep from running on empty, you will have to actively seek out relationships that pour into you rather than drain you.

5. Realize that even the best leaders at times need professional counseling.

If you were having a physical issue, you would certainly go to an expert to get some relief. If you were having a professional issue you would certainly go to an expert to get some advice.

In the same way, as you find yourself having an emotional or mental issue, you need to go to an expert for some counsel. It’s not a sign of weakness. Rather it’s a sign of wisdom.

Though 2020 may be coming to a merciful end, we have no promises that 2021 is going to be any easier – at least not in the early months. But putting these practices in place may help you address your exhaustion and enter the new year a little healthier.

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