The Power of a Compliment
When it comes to leadership, there is one practice that is often overlooked yet is exceedingly important. That is simply giving a sincere compliment.
Motivational speaker Leo Buscaglia observed, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
According to psychologists, compliments are very powerful. Probably much more than you would think they are. Here are a few reasons why.
1. Compliments make people feel worthwhile.
Mary Kay Ash, Founder of Mary Kay Inc. constantly drilled this into her sales team: “Everyone has a sign hanging from his neck. It says, ‘Make Me Feel Important!’ Never forget this message when working with people.” Seems to me that this principle has worked pretty well for them!
2. Compliments make people stronger.
I love this quote from author George Matthew Adams, “There are high spots in all of our lives, and most of them have come about through encouragement from someone else. I don’t care how great, how famous or how successful a man or woman may be, each hungers for applause. Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.” Mark Twain put it this way: “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
"Encouragement is oxygen to the soul.” - George Matthew Adams
3. Compliments create a positive environment.
Former Commander of the warship USS Benfold, Mike Abrashoff, was credited with increasing retention rates from 28 percent to 100 percent, an unmatched mark in the Navy. Abrashoff says the key to his success was public compliments. “The commanding officer of a ship is authorized to hand out 15 medals a year. I wanted to err on the side of excess, so I passed out 115.” He later said, “There is absolutely no downside to this symbolic gesture, provided it is done sincerely without hype.”
4. Compliments motivate people.
A study by Japanese scientists asked the test subjects to learn and perform specific finger exercises on a keyboard as fast as possible. The subjects were separated into three groups.
One group received individual compliments from an evaluator. A second group watched another participant receive compliments, and the third evaluated their own performance on a graph.
When the participants returned to perform the exercise sequence a day later, those who had been complimented performed significantly better than either of the other two groups.
Remember that people tend to do what they get noticed for. Catch someone doing good, compliment them and you reinforce the positive behavior.
People tend to do what they get noticed for. Catch someone doing good, compliment them and you reinforce the positive behavior.
Few things can lift a person up the way a sincere, public compliment does. Don’t miss this: A private compliment turned public, instantly and dramatically increases in value.
Few things can lift a person up the way a sincere, public compliment does.
Think about the last time you received a public compliment in the presence of people that mattered to you. How did it make you feel?
Finally…
5. Compliments not only change the person being complimented, they change us for the better as well.
When we notice the good in others, we find the qualities we want to model.
If you want to lead well, master the simple skill of the genuine compliment. I believe it’s the most fundamental and straightforward way to win with people.
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