Posts in Skills
The Unsent Angry Letter
The Unsent Angry Letter

A few years back, Maria Konnikova wrote an article in the New York Times titled, “The Lost Art of the Unsent Angry Letter.” The idea is that if you’re upset at something or someone, you write a detailed, unedited response – and then you stick it in a drawer until you’ve cooled off.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, relationships, angry unsent letter, anger, angry letter, email, Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln, Calvin Coolidge, Maria KonnikovaComment
What Your Non-Christian Neighbors are Looking For
What Your Non-Christian Neighbors are Looking For

I was quite surprised to read that, according to a recent Gallop poll, 87% of Americans say they believe in God. This is not to say that they are religious, much less churchgoers. They probably aren’t.

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Relationships, Skills, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, importance of relationships, relationships, evangelism, spiritual conversations, faith conversations, listening without judgment, judgment, listening to non-Christians, power of listening, listeningComment
Pursuing the Wandered Sheep
Pursuing the Wandered Sheep

One of the most common questions being asked by church leaders these days is, “When will all of our Sunday morning attendees come back?” Put another way, “When will all of our scattered sheep return to the fold?”

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, when people leave the church, leaving church, changing churches, change churches, importance of relationships, relational connections, relationships, why volunteers quit, not returning to church, impact of pandemic on church, wandering sheep, wandered sheep, good shepherdComment
Clues That Someone is About to Leave Your Church
Clues That Someone is About to Leave Your Church

In looking back at my years of being a lead pastor, one of the hardest issues to handle was when an individual or family would leave.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, when people leave the church, leaving church, changing churches, change churches, church wounds, loss of passion, loss of vision, unclear vision, importance of relationships, relational connections, relationships, criticism, dealing with criticism, volunteers, why volunteers quitComment
Of Screens and Phubbing
Of Screens and Phubbing

Screens dominate our lives. TV screens, computer screens, smartphone screens, tablet screens, gaming screens, video conference screens. We are screened like no other generation in history.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, listen, phubbing, screens, screen time, attention, pay attention, pay attention to others, listening, active listening, active listenerComment
Responding to the Signs of the Times
Responding to the Signs of the Times

I came across a quote from a pastor named J.D. Greear recently that powerfully gripped me: “Those who care about the future of the Great Commission will devote themselves to multiplying and sending, not gathering and counting.”

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Skills, Relationships, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, contextual intelligence, sign of the times, signs of the times, men of Issachar, trendsetter, trendsetters, trend setter, opportunities, ideas, ideationComment
A Multiplying Mindset
A Multiplying Mindset

I came across a quote from a pastor named J.D. Greear recently that powerfully gripped me: “Those who care about the future of the Great Commission will devote themselves to multiplying and sending, not gathering and counting.”

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Discipleship, Skills, RelationshipsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, Discipleship, discipleship, discipling culture, multiplying, multiplication, Great Commission, go and make disciplesComment
The Importance of Unlearning
The Importance of Unlearning

Pastor and author Mark Batterson got my attention in a big way when he wrote, “Half of learning is learning. The other half of learning is unlearning. Unfortunately, unlearning is twice as hard as learning.”

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Relationships, Heart, Discipleship, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, humility, unlearning, learning, Mark Batterson, Sermon on the Mount, sermon on the mount, White Lies, diversity, race, white supremacy, Discipleship, spiritual formation, character, The Other Half of Church, Jim Wilder, Michel Hendricks, right brain, left brain, transformation Comments
8 Elements of an Effective Staff Meeting
8 Elements of an Effective Staff Meeting

Let’s be honest. Most of us don’t love staff meetings. They are often boring, too long, and sometimes even irrelevant. And yet, we all know that staff meetings are a must if our teams are going to have any chance of staying on the same page.

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Relationships, Skills, Pastoring 101, Church StaffDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, church staff, staff culture, staff meeting, staff meetings, boring meetings, relational connections, agenda, meeting agenda, vision, values, vision and values, introverts, extrovertsComment
Every Leader Needs a Coach
Every Leader Needs a Coach

Once again Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has won the MVP for the National Football League. It’s the third time he’s been given this high honor.

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Relationships, Heart, Discipleship, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, Discipleship, spiritual formation, transformation, coaching, coach, Bill Gates, Aaron Rodgers, teachable, teachability, self-improvementComment
The Power of a Compliment
The Power of a Compliment

When it comes to leadership, there is one practice that is often overlooked yet is exceedingly important. That is simply giving a sincere compliment.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, compliments, giving a compliment, complimenting others, encouragement, encouraging others, culture change, building culture, Leo Buscaglia, Mary Kay Ash, make me feel important, Mark Twain, creating a positive environment, motivating peopleComment
Urgent vs. Important
Urgent vs. Important

Dwight Eisenhower is noted as saying, “What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.” This "Eisenhower Principle" is said to be the basis for how he organized his workload and priorities.

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Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, urgent, important, how to prioritze your time, Dwight Eisenhower, Eisenhower's Decision Principle, Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, not urgent but important, urgent and important, not urgent and not important, urgent but not importantComment
5 Steps of Apprenticeship
5 Steps of Apprenticeship

When we think of the Apostle Paul, typically we consider him as a church planter and a letter writer. Yet it’s important to understand that he was also a disciple-maker.

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Relationships, Skills, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, leadership development, Leadership, Discipleship, discipling culture, disciple-making, discipleship, disciple, apprentice, apprenticeship, steps of apprenticeship, Eric Metcalf Comments
The 5 Best Books I Read in 2020
The 5 Best Books I Read in 2020

I’m a voracious reader. On the fiction side, my taste ranges from historical novels to detective mysteries. On the non-fiction side, I enjoy devotional, professional, and developmental publications.

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Skills, Heart, DiscipleshipDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, books, read, reading, best books of 2020, Jonathan Cahn, Ian Morgan Cron, Suzanne Stabile, Dave Ferguson, Warren Bird, Jim Wilder, Michel Hendricks, Daniel Hill, White Lies, The Other Half of Church, The Road Back to You, The Book of Mysteries, Hero MakerComment
The Practice That Transformed My Devotional Life
The Practice That Transformed My Devotional Life

In my 40 years of walking with the Lord, I’ve worked hard to maintain a disciplined devotional life. While that commitment has proven to be valuable, I’ve got to admit that at times it’s been more duty than delight.

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Heart, Discipleship, Relationships, SkillsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, joy, interactive gratitude, gratitude, appreciation, thanksgiving, thanks, journaling, Immanuel journaling, Immanuel, listening to God, hearing from God, how do you know it's God's voice, discerning God's voice Comments
Why People Resist Change
Why People Resist Change

In my years of pastoring, I had to lead my organization through a lot of change - from major paradigm shifts to small operational adjustments. In that process, I’ve discovered a couple of key truths regarding change.

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Skills, RelationshipsDave DeSelmEveryday Pastor, pastors, leader, leadership, church leaders, positivity, change, leading change, leading through change, resistance, resisting change, organizational change, culture change, loss, sense of loss, grief, anger, anxiety, confusion, loss of power, loss of comfort, loss of control, loss of familiarity, loss of stability, validate, validationComment