Spiritual PTSD
Last winter Gwen and I were privileged to share some extended time with a group of pastors and wives. While we were one of my fellow pastors gave a devotional that I found to be insightful, and I've been thinking about it ever since.
He titled it “Another Sort of PTSD.” By PTSD, he was referencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
My guess is that you have heard of it. PTSD is a negative reaction – such as nightmares, negative thoughts about self, self-isolation, hypervigilance, insomnia, anger, sadness, and guilt – that develops in people who have experienced a traumatic event.
Among other things, we see it in war veterans, abused children, or victims of an accident or disaster.
According to the National Center for PTSD, about 7 or 8 out of every 100 people will experience PTSD at some point in their lives.
Yet, as this speaker noted, there’s another sort of PTSD: Post Traumatic Spiritual Devastation. Its primary victim is pastors and far more than 7 or 8 out of 100 experience it. Indeed, it’s closer to 100 out of 100.
Post Traumatic Spiritual Devastation
It can happen to even the most experienced and mature leader. Consider these words from no less a giant of the faith than the Apostle Paul.
“Do your best to come to me as soon as you can, because Demas, who loved this world, left me and went to Thessalonica. Crescens went to Galatia, and Titus went to Dalmatia… I sent Tychicus to Ephesus… Alexander the metalworker did many harmful things against me…You also should be careful that he does not hurt you, because he fought strongly against our teaching. The first time I defended myself, no one helped me; everyone left me…But the Lord stayed with me and gave me strength…”
2 Timothy 4:9-17(NCV)
These words come out of the New Testament letter of 2 Timothy. It’s Paul’s last epistle. He is incarcerated in the infamous Mamertine Prison in Rome.
The Mamertine Prison could have been called the “House of Darkness.” Few prisons in the 1st century were as dim, dark, and dirty. Paul was locked up there awaiting his inevitable execution.
Yet, in reading 2 Timothy 4 closely, it appears that what distressed Paul the most wasn’t his impending death. It was the pain he’d faced in life. Specifically, the pain born of relational loss.
Consider what he had endured.
Abandonment by Demas. Demas was no newcomer to Paul’s team. Earlier, in the letter to the Colossians, Paul notes that Demas sends his greetings. In the letter to Philemon, Paul refers to Demas as a “fellow worker.” Yet the time came when this man who had once been a faithful partner abandoned Paul and quite possibly the faith.
Loss of Crescens, Titus, and Tychicus. In this case, these partners did not abandon Paul. They moved on to new places of ministry. In Tychicus' case, Paul sent him. Yet the apostle still felt the loss of these dear friends and brothers.
Opposition of Alexander. We don’t know exactly what all the metalworker did to Paul, but we can see that it caused a great deal of harm and included fighting against Paul’s teaching.
In reading between the lines, I can sense the pain in Paul’s words. Abandonment…loss…opposition.
When the speaker read through this, he then asked this group of pastors and wives, “How many of you can identify with Paul?” Hands went up all over the room.
All those present knew the pain of abandonment. When longstanding attenders leave the church, all too often without saying a word.
Or the loss felt when those who were invested in or who served by our side moved to another ministry. To be sure, this is a good thing. Yet it doesn’t hurt any less.
Then there’s the opposition from some who are determined to fight the leader every step of the way. And in so doing they do great harm.
But the Lord stayed with me...
What’s encouraging about this text is that Paul notes “…the Lord stayed with me and gave me strength.” And for pastors today that’s no less true. As the old hymn puts it, “there is no friend like Jesus.”
However, don’t miss the fact that Paul also asked Timothy to “come to me as soon as you can.” For all the encouragement that the Lord gave Paul, there was still a great need for human love and support.
If you’re a pastor and you’re struggling with the pain of spiritual PTSD, I encourage you, don’t try to tough it out alone or in silence. Talk to someone. Reach out to a trusted, safe friend or counselor.
But even if you’re not in ministry, I urge you to take Paul’s need to heart as it relates to your pastor.
Abandonment, loss, and opposition are par for the course in the ministry. And they take their toll. The result is that pastors end up suffering from another kind of PTSD. It often has the same symptoms: nightmares, negative thoughts about self, self-isolation, hypervigilance, insomnia, anger, sadness, and guilt.
So, what can you do for your pastor in light of this? To be sure, knowing this can elicit your sympathy. But let me challenge you do more than that.
Allow it to trigger an increase in prayer for him/her. Pray that they will sense the Lord’s presence in their pain.
But, beyond that, consider their need of a human touch. It might be an invitation to coffee or lunch. Or it could take the form of a note, a phone call, or a gift.
You can’t take away the pain of pastoring. However, you can provide a much-appreciated soothing balm. And, in the end, that might make a big difference.
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