Leveraging Invitation and Challenge, Part 1
Monty Roberts spent his youth in the western prairies rounding up wild mustangs. He observed the typical method of “breaking horses,” as they were ridden by “bronco busters” until exhaustion or tied to a post and beaten until the animal’s will was broken.
Watching this happen, Monty began to think that there had to be another way…a less barbaric way…a more natural way.
One day he noticed how wild horses communicated with one another. In particular, he observed the behavior of the lead mare as a new horse attempted to join the herd. It was fascinating.
When a young stallion began to approach, the mare would initially challenge him, flattening her ears and looking directly into his eyes. The stallion would stop his approach and adopt the position of a juvenile horse by pawing the ground and bowing in submission.
The mare would then turn her flank toward the new horse and lift her ears, the offer of invitation. The young stallion, given this invitation, would inch closer.
Then the mare would turn toward the newcomer, once again flattening her ears in another demonstration of challenge.
This process of invitation and challenge would be repeated until the two would eventually touch, a moment called join-up. At that point, the young stallion would be admitted to the herd.
Monty began exploring whether he could replicate the process of alternating between invitation and challenge to bring a horse to bridle. He discovered that by mimicking the mare in this way, success was not only possible – it was assured.
Today, Monty can fully train even the most abused horses in minutes. As such he is truly the “horse-whisperer.” You can observe this moving methodology HERE.
Invitation and challenge, when properly calibrated, can create a remarkable transformation.
Invitation and challenge, when properly calibrated, can create a remarkable transformation.
That’s true not only of horses but also of people. While calibrating imitation and challenge is necessary for good leadership in general, it is an essential part of effective discipleship. We know that because Jesus modeled it.
Jesus Models Imitation and Challenge
Jesus was the ultimate “horse-whisperer” when it came to discipleship. In less than three years, he was able to affect the transformation of a group of men, most of whom no one else would have chosen, and taught them to DO and to BE like Him in such a way that, when released, they would change the course of human history.
He modeled this calibration of invitation and challenge in His initial call to these men. “Follow Me,” He said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matt. 4:19)
There was this a truly remarkable invitation. “Follow Me. Spend time with Me. Learn from Me. I want to give you special access to My life.”
But that invitation came with a challenge. “I will make you fishers of men.” That is to say, “While I want to pour Myself into you, I have an expectation that you will then pour yourselves into others.”
Over the months they were together, Jesus consistently calibrated invitation and challenge…opportunity and responsibility…affirmation and correction.
Jesus consistently calibrated invitation and challenge…opportunity and responsibility…affirmation and correction.
One illustration of this is recorded in Matthew 16, as Peter responds to the question, “Who do you say that I am?” with the words of faith: “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.”
Jesus immediately affirms the man.
17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matt. 16:17-19)
In this affirmation, Jesus invites Peter closer, offering him a new identity and new authority. It must have been an incredible moment for Peter.
Yet only a few verses later, after having taken Jesus aside to suggest that He stop speaking about dying in Jerusalem, Peter is massively challenged.
22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Matt. 16:22-23)
Invitation and challenge.
Time and again we see Jesus using both. He invited His disciples into an intimate relationship with Him, affirming them. He also challenged the attitudes and behaviors He knew were wrong or unhealthy.
On other occasions, His challenge wasn’t corrective, but directive. After having modeled ministry before them, He sent them out two by two into the towns and villages to preach, heal and cast out demons. Talk about a challenge!
A Good Leader Does Both
A good leader knows that both invitation and challenge are needed in leading people to a preferred future – whether in the business world, the classroom, the home, or the church. And learning when and how to lean into one or the other will create the environment in which breakthrough and transformation can take place.
A good leader knows that both invitation and challenge are needed in leading people to a preferred future – whether in the business world, the classroom, the home, or the church.
Here’s the rub. While Jesus was truly masterful at effectively using invitation and challenge, we have a tendency to default to one or the other.
Some of us are “inviters” by nature. We want people to be comfortable and included. We tend to avoid conflict. That being the case, we will struggle to admonish or be directive.
Others of us are “challengers” by nature. We have high expectations and are quick to correct. But as such, we are slow to affirm and often impatient.
The thing is, both are needed. Invitation AND challenge. Our disciples need to know that we want to be with them and seek to encourage them. Yet they also need our admonishment and correction. And they need us to raise the bar and ask them to jump, cheering for their wins and helping them handle their defeats.
This is the Jesus model of discipleship at its essence. If we’re going to build a culture of discipleship, we’re going to have to follow His lead. We will have to appropriately calibrate invitation and challenge.
In so doing, not only will you be facilitating a transformation in those you invest in, you will be giving them a model for them to follow regarding those they invest in.
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