Leading Well When Things Go Wrong
Here we are on the cusp of yet another highly anticipated holiday. Preparations have been made. Presentations have been prepared. People have been invited.
Everything seems to be stanced for success. All should go well.
Expect for that uninvited guest, Mr. Murphy.
You know him, don’t you? He’s the one famous for the line, “If something can go wrong, it will.” And he seems to show up to make sure that theory becomes a reality.
Having planned 35 years’ worth of special events for the church I served, I know this all too well. And, in so doing, I discovered some corollaries to Mr. Murphy’s prediction:
The foul-up will be at the worst possible time.
The breakdown will be with the worst possible people.
The failure will elicit the worst possible reaction.
Here’s a sampling of what might be faced:
The child that got sick right before the service.
The child that got sick right in the service.
Getting cross-wise with your spouse.
Getting cross-wise with another staff member.
The sound system that shut off.
The WIFI server that shut down.
The volunteers that didn’t show up.
The trouble-makers that did show up.
The member who criticized what didn’t happen.
The visitor who complained about what did happen.
You get the idea. And, no doubt, you can probably add many more. In fact, I’d be curious about what you’ve faced. Why not add your examples in the comment section below? If nothing else, we can sympathize.
So what do you do to keep Mr. Murphy’s rain on your parade from ruining it? Here are a few suggestions that have served me well.
1. Realize that even the best systems fail.
You can check and double-check everything, but the only time failure will be manifested is under the pressure of performance. This is the nature of things. Everyone understands this and allows for it. You should too.
How to Respond: People will be watching your reaction. Make it a gracious one.
When things go wrong people will be watching your reaction. Make it a gracious one.
2. Accept the fact that people are human.
The only perfect person who ever lived is the One being honored at these events. The individuals putting on the events are P.O.H. – “plain old human” – and humans mess up. They will feel worse about their failures and foul-ups than you do. Put the relationship before the problem. It will last long after the issue is over.
How to Respond: Be quick to forgive and offer encouragement.
When people mess up, put the relationship before the problem. It will last long after the issue is over.
3. Right-size the negative comments you hear.
Everyone comes to these events with expectations. All too often, however, expectations turn into demands. And when a demand isn’t fulfilled, it can turn to frustration and erupt in verbalization. Now is not the time to defend what did or didn’t happen. Critics and complainers won’t be satisfied anyway.
How to Respond: Listen quietly, nod sympathetically, and speak carefully.
When people complain, listen quietly, nod sypathetically, and speak carefully.
4. Remember that you are opposed.
If in fact the hope is for the Lord to be glorified and people to be edified, keep in mind that there is one who is determined that such things be minimized if not negated. Be aware that the forces of evil are especially active in high-potential moments.
How to Respond: Recognize that our battle is not with flesh and blood. Pray much before, during, and even after these events.
Be aware that the forces of evil are especially active in high-potential moments. Pray much before, during and even after these events.
5. Focus on all that went right rather than that which went wrong.
We have the tendency to give all of our emotional energy to lamenting what failed rather than celebrating what succeeded.
How to Respond: Do a solid debrief of the event and take note of where things could be changed or done better. But also, be specific and offer “Atta boys!” and “Well dones” when deserved.
When it's all over, don't focus on what went wrong; celebrate what went right. Be specific and offer "Atta boys!" and "Well dones."
This special event will soon be a thing of the past. Life and ministry will go on. Mr. Murphy will take a leave of absence…at least for a while. Don’t let your memory of his visit ruin your future.
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