148 Cardio: An Intimate Heart
Friend. It’s one of the most powerful words in the world. A good friend will mark you at the heart level as nothing else. That was certainly true of David.
In the aftermath of the giant-killing, the story of David was heavily shaped by two relationships. One of them was with King Saul. No one was happier that Goliath was out of the way than Saul. But all too quickly, his appreciation of David turned to jealousy that eventually rose to a murderous level.
In the midst of that craziness, David is given a gift: the gift of a friend. Jonathan, the son and heir of Saul.
By all rights these men should have been bitter rivals, instead they are connected at the soul level. And during those painful and turbulent days, that friendship became an anchor for David.
Jonathan makes a covenant, a binding agreement with David: “I promise whatever happens, whatever my father does, whoever the people cheer for, you can count on me. I am and will be for you forever. This is my solemn vow.”
Jonathan is making it clear that he recognizes God has called David to be king, and he wants David to know that he sees this. So, he takes off his royal robe, the symbol of his position, and hands it to David. Then he takes off his sword, the sign of authority, and freely gives it up as well.
When Jonathan discovers the truth of his father’s murderous intent, it becomes clear that the two friends must go their separate ways.
As far as we know, David and Jonathan only saw each other one more time, and what did Jonathan do? He “helped (David) find strength in God.” (1 Sam. 23:16)
That’s what friends do.
Shortly after that, Jonathan and his father fell in battle and David “mourned and wept” for the loss of his friend.
Can such friendships exist today? I believe the answer is “Yes.” God’s desire is that we go through life with our hearts no less marked by special friends. Spiritual friends.
WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL FRIEND?
A spiritual friend is a generous, life-giving individual who believes in you, defends you, calls out the best in you, and reminds you of your destiny.
A true spiritual friend is generous with their time and their support. They leave you feeling enriched rather than impoverished. A spiritual friend believes in you – not merely for what you are, but for what you can be. And a spiritual friend keeps pointing you to your destiny and the God who loves you. They
HOW CAN I FIND A SPIRITUAL FRIEND?
Prayer: Ask God to surface a spiritual friend for you.
Positioning: To find a spiritual friend you need to get into settings where you will meet likely candidates.
Process: Go slow. Be patient. Make sure there’s some chemistry at the “friend” level before you move to the “spiritual friend.” Then start to probe the potential depth of the relationship by appropriate vulnerability. Is there a level of empathy? Do they listen well, or do they only want to focus on talking about themselves? Are they wise and discerning in their response? Do they honor confidentiality?
Promise: Talk about your expectations. How often you’re going to meet; how deep you’re going to go; how free you are to speak hard truth, etc.
Is spiritual friendship worth the effort, time, and pain? Yes, it is. Because nothing will mark your heart more than a spiritual friend.
Text: 1 Samuel 18-20
Originally recorded on May 14, 2006, at Fellowship Missionary Church, Fort Wayne, IN.