137 Blessed Are the Peacemakers: Relational Repair

In our fallenness, walls can easily form between us and others. Brick by brick, hurt by hurt. If we are going to know the blessing of being a peacemaker, then we must deal with those bricks before the wall gets too high.

Jesus taught in Matthew 5 that when we become aware that someone has something against us, we are to go and be reconciled to them.

So, how do we take such steps in a way that leads to peace?  Here are the “Five A’s” of reconciliation.  

1.     Address everyone involved.

When you go to a person you have broken down with, you are to ask for their forgiveness for the ways you have sinned against them.

But sometimes your sins splash on others and cause them hurt. You need to go to them too.

2.     Avoid If, But, and Maybe

The best way to ruin a confession is to use words that appear to minimize or excuse your guilt. True confession leaves no room for rationalization or justification.  It simply says, “I was wrong.”

3.     Acknowledge their hurt.

If you want someone to respond positively to a confession, acknowledge and express sorrow for how you have hurt them.

4.     Accept the consequences.

Explicitly accepting the consequences of your actions is another way to demonstrate genuine repentance. 

5.     Ask for forgiveness.

Don’t just say, “I’m sorry.” In contrast, when you use the words, “Would you please forgive me for…” it requires a response.  Both of you are given the opportunity to make this a genuine dialogue, point by point by point.

When you’ve worked your way through your list, ask one last question: “Is there anything else I need to ask forgiveness for?”

Jesus’ teaching about reconciliation is among His most challenging and difficult.  It strikes at our pride and challenges our insecurity.  Yet, as with all other commands, it’s always for our good…and, ultimately for His glory.   

Text: Mt. 5:23-24; Ro. 14:19; 12:18

Originally recorded on September 22, 2013, at Fellowship Missionary Church, Fort Wayne, IN.