What I Wish I Would Have Known as a Young Pastor
Thirty-eight years ago this month I was installed as senior pastor at Fellowship Missionary Church. The church was a small plant and met in a YMCA. And I was as green as grass!
By God’s grace, I was privileged to lead that church for the next 35 years. Looking back, I’ve learned a lot the hard way – by experience and mistakes. Here’s what I wish I had known back then.
1. While the greatest of privileges, pastoring will be the hardest thing you ever do.
I was utterly naïve as to the challenge of being a pastor. I saw it as an opportunity to spend extended time in study and share my love for Jesus openly and feely.
I didn’t have a clue as to what it meant to lead an organization and shepherd a flock. The learning curve was demanding, and failures were frequent.
I wish I would have known what was in store for me. Such a reality check would have prepared me for the challenge.
2. Your character will be tested more than your competency will be.
The road is strewn with bodies of leaders who were extremely gifted but who lost their ministries because of sex, money, power, or other forms of moral failure.
No doubt, it’s important to grow in your skillset. To improve in your preaching, programming, vision-casting, budgeting, and staffing is absolutely essential.
However, if you want to stay in ministry for the long haul, constantly building and refining your character is paramount. This will require a willingness to admit blind spots and an openness to receive correction.
I wish I would have understood the importance of this better and would have been open to pursuing this earlier.
If you want to stay in ministry for the long haul, constantly building and refining your character is paramount.
3. It will be tempting to measure success by the wrong metrics.
When pastors and church leaders ask you about your ministry, the first question will probably go something like this, “So how many people did you have Sunday?”
Attendance can easily be measured, and it can make for an impressive denominational report. However, it’s a poor metric for success.
The bottom line isn’t to draw a crowd, but to make disciples. To be honest, drawing crowds isn’t difficult. If you appeal to the interests of other people, you will draw a crowd. And the cultural temptation to build a large ministry in that way is strong.
I wish I would have valued the kind of disciples we were making rather than the size of the crowd we were gathering. And I wish I would have prioritized my ministry toward that end.
I wish I would have valued the kind of disciples we were making rather than the size of the crowd we were gathering.
4. Workaholism will be rewarded, but it will cost you dearly.
One of the struggles I consistently faced was to find my significance in what I did versus who I was. Affirmation for the pace I kept and the number of people I ministered to fed that.
I wish I would have known that God isn’t impressed with keeping an exhausting schedule. In fact, in order to preempt it, He mandated that a Sabbath be taken.
My problem was that, all too often, I saw time off as a reward for getting the job done rather than a command to cease and desist even though the job wasn’t done. My failure to monitor rhythms of work and rest took a toll on me…and on my family.
God isn’t impressed with keeping an exhausting schedule.
5. When people leave it will hurt.
It’s inevitable that people will leave the church. I knew that intellectually. What I underestimated was how it would impact me emotionally.
I saw every departure as a failure on my part. And I viewed it as a betrayal on their part.
Moreover, in my effort to keep people from leaving, I looked for ways to please and placate them when in fact they and we would have been better off if they left.
You can read more about this issue in these two blog posts. (Exit Wounds; 7 Steps to Take When People Leave)
6. Comparison and competition with other churches is an ongoing struggle.
I’m a recovering “competition addict.” When I played sports, I played to win. When I coached a team, I coached to win. The alternative of losing was, in my mind, to be a loser.
This carried over to my pastoring. As a result, I saw other churches as competition. Time and again I found myself wanting to prove that we were the best, the biggest, and the brightest.
The success of other churches was grudgingly accepted rather than joyously celebrated. And if that success came as a result of losing members to them, it was even more unpalatable.
I wish I would have accepted the fact that the goal was for THE church to win and not my church to win. And that the growth and health of other fellowships was something to be cheered rather than criticized.
The goal is for THE church to win, not my church to win.
7. Spiritual warfare is real, and you will be a special target.
The Apostle Paul made it clear that our battle is not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities. Peter added that our adversary prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
While Satan targets everyone, he particularly targets church leaders. And pastors have a special bull’s eye on their back.
I wish I would have understood this more clearly. And I wish I would have allowed for this to right-size problems and see the root causes of challenges.
While Satan targets everyone, he particularly targets church leaders.
8. People will hurt you and let you down.
The greatest pain I faced in ministry was not in initiatives that failed or in programs that floundered. It wasn’t realized in sermons that bombed or in budgets that went unmet.
It was in the bruises on the soul inflicted by those I led and at times trusted.
Accusation, criticism, and betrayal are like body blows to a boxer. They might not knock you out, but as they accumulate, they can take you down.
I wish I would have been prepared for this. And I wish I would have handled the pain better.
Accusation, criticism, and betrayal are like body blows to a boxer. They might not knock you out, but as they accumulate, they can take you down.
9. You will get discouraged and feel like quitting often.
Most pastors call these days Monday.
Even if things go well on Sunday, the enemy will use that one negative comment or anonymous note to bring you down if he can. And, in your exhausted state, that can easily happen.
On top of that, there are those difficult board meetings, those challenging staff relationships, and those critical congregants.
I wish I would have been warned that such things are common to all pastors. And that everyone feels like quitting at times.
You will get discouraged and feel like quitting often. Most pastors call these days Monday.
10. It will all be worth it.
Accepting the call to be a pastor is far from easy. It will take everything you have…and then some…to persevere.
However, you will have a front-row seat to see lives changed, marriages healed, and prodigals return. The impact you leave will outlive your life.
Accepting the call to be a pastor is far from easy. However, the impact you leave will outlive your life.
And best of all, you will hear those words from the Chief Shepherd, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
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