A Fault Forgiven
Tucked away in the book of Proverbs is a verse that is unfamiliar to most of us, but oh so important to grasp. It’s Proverbs 17:9 – “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
What brought this verse to mind was an incident that took place recently. I received a text from an old friend with whom I had become estranged. Minor slights had seemingly grown into major offenses.
Though we live in the same city, we hadn’t seen each other in over a year. And there was no expectation that that would change. It seemed this was to be yet one more tombstone in my relational graveyard.
Then came the text. It simply said, “Can we meet for coffee? I need to ask your forgiveness for something.”
So, we met…and so he asked…and so I forgave.
And then we began to talk – about our families, about our careers, and even about the possibility of having a future together as friends.
It remains to be seen if that last thing will happen. For one thing, we now run in different circles where maintaining contact will take some effort. For another thing, there’s still the lingering pain of our fractured relationship.
But I know this for a fact. I feel much better about him today than I did a few weeks ago. And I no longer dread seeing him at a restaurant or shopping center.
Why? Because of the relational lubricant of forgiveness. His courageous vulnerability caused me to lower my guard and dare to engage.
Take a step. Start the healing.
I don’t know if you can relate to this, but my hunch is that many of you can. These past few years have not only been a challenge physically and psychologically – they have been a challenge relationally.
One-time friends have become alienated whether from different views of how to handle COVID, different slants on the social justice issues, or different loyalties in the political arena.
And Proverbs 17:11 tells us that such alienation will only continue and even deepen if it’s left unaddressed. However, if at least one of the parties is willing to take that first step – “Could we have coffee? I need to ask you for forgiveness” – who knows the healing that might occur?
I hope you will take this to heart. These difficult days have necessarily cost us so much. We can at least make sure they don’t unnecessarily cost us our friendships.
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