Koinonia vs. Koinonitis
Recently I met with a group of pastors I am coaching and we talked about the challenge of assimilating newcomers into an established church body. We shared various ideas such as having a well-trained parking lot team, using knowledgeable greeters at the doors, and establishing a solid Welcome Center.
We discussed various tracking systems that can be implemented and strategies for contacting first-time visitors. Some great ideas were shared.
Then one of the guys noted something that drew nods from the rest of the group. He said, “Unless the congregation at large embraces the value of welcoming newcomers, no number of systems will be sufficient to provide a welcoming environment. The lack of personal touch on that Sunday will overshadow any attempt to reach out after that Sunday.”
I wasn’t surprised that, to a man, the group agreed. Though none of their churches intended to be cliquish or closed off, all of them were sadly lacking in intentionally seeking out visitors and making them feel welcome.
One of the men then added, “In our church, we value koinonia (deep fellowship among individuals) but sometimes that can degenerate into koinonitis.” We laughed at his made-up word, but he quickly defined it as fellowship that deteriorated into exclusivity.
He continued, “I see it when regular attenders gravitate toward their friends on Sunday mornings and totally ignore the newcomers. Their entire focus is on enjoying their cherished established relationships rather than looking for those who have no relationships.
Another pastor picked up on an additional problem. He said, “I also see it when small groups become so close that they become closed. That is, they have no desire to make room for the unattached. It’s as if they’re saying, ‘I love what I have and I don’t want to lose it – no matter what it might cost to the disconnected.”
CREATING A CULTURE OF WELCOME
For the remainder of our discussion, we focused on how pastors can cast a vision and uphold the value of welcoming the strangers in our midst. Here are some of the ideas that were shared.
WHAT PASTORS CAN DO:
Use the pulpit to hold up the value of welcome and challenge the congregation to actively embrace it.
Utilize other communication avenues to raise the value of everyone’s role in creating an ethos of welcome, such as a newsletter, email blast, announcements, etc.
Model welcome by roaming through the atrium or foyer before services. Pastors will recognize new people more quickly than anyone else, so set an example to your congregation by engaging newcomers.
Encourage your staff to model this by being available and vigilant in the twenty minutes before every service.
While celebrating the warmth and intimacy that established small groups can have, remind them that there are others who don’t yet have that and who need to be invited in and included.
Affirm and celebrate, both privately and publicly, individuals and groups who are living out this value.
WHAT CONGREGANTS CAN DO:
For those of you who are reading this and are not pastors, allow me to offer a few suggestions of what you can do to help create a culture of welcome in your church.
Be on the alert. Expect newcomers and watch for them.
Be proactive. If you see someone new, go to them. Don’t just expect the “professionals” – the extroverts, welcome team, or staff – to do it.
Smile. Send “glad to be with you” feelings.
Ask questions, such as:
Hi! I don’t think I’ve met you. My name is… What’s yours?
Is this your first time here? (Even if they’ve been coming for years, you can still say… “well, I’m glad I finally got to meet you!”)
What brought you here? (This helps you learn a little about what they’re looking for. Maybe they have friends that invited them, or perhaps they have kids or teens. Or you may be able to discern if they are in a painful transition.)
Do you have any questions I can help you with? (This may lead to a key introduction you can make, such as another parent of kids the same age, the youth pastor/volunteer, etc.)
Look for them the next week and seek them out again. Extend the circle of welcome by introducing them to someone else. Welcoming someone once is nice, but moving someone from “visitor” to “family” takes time and an ever-expanding circle of joyful connections.
When visitors attend a church, they will inevitably do a debrief of the experience on the drive home. They will comment on the worship, and they will rate the sermon. And to be sure, those things are important.
However, the majority of those who return won’t do so because of the worship or the sermon. They will do so because of the welcome they received and the message that was sent that they were seen and valued. And that’s the job of all of us.
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