From Associate to Lead Pastor
Most of the young leaders that I’m coaching began their ministry as an associate pastor. Many were youth pastors. Others were small group pastors. Then, the opportunity arose for them to move into the left seat of the cockpit and become the lead pilot for the ministry plane.
I’ve been frequently asked about making that transition. Questions such as, “What do I need to be aware of? What words of wisdom would you offer me as I step into this uncharted territory?”
Well, there’s certainly much that could be said regarding that. And, to be sure, much of my advice would be “case-specific” and dependent upon the uniqueness of the circumstance. But here are a few general thoughts.
Understand that the best of plans won’t preempt surprises and challenges.
Former heavyweight champion, Mike Tyson, put it well: “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” In any transition process that will be true.
Assumptions made won’t be realized. Expectations anticipated won’t materialize. What you thought would be smooth and easy will end up being bumpy and hard.
Go ahead and make your plans. Develop your strategies. Look for potential landmines. Just know that you won’t be able to foresee everything. So be prepared for surprises and challenges.
Understand that not everyone will like you.
In a healthy transition, most people will embrace, enjoy, and encourage you. They will appreciate what you bring to the table as the new senior pastor. Some will not.
Even the healthiest and most unified churches have people who are going to respond negatively, many with petty reasons. Some, including leaders, will leave.
Here is a suggestion: Go out of your way to make yourself available and invite personal interaction, especially if you sense some individuals are struggling with your leadership.
Having done that, accept the fact that, even going the extra mile, some will criticize and even reject you. It may be as part of their grief of losing your predecessor or due to their frustration with change.
You’d like to think that folks would at least give you a chance. Some won’t. Be gracious to them even if they don’t offer much grace to you.
Understand that some people will like you too much.
The good news is that, in a healthy transition, most people will like you. The bad news is that some will like you too much.
You are going to get more positive feedback by way of “atta boys” after sermons, along with affirming notes, invitations for meals, free tickets, and opportunities to socialize.
Recognize that some will do so with less than pure motives. They are looking for special access to the new leader or hoping for prioritized personal attention.
Maintain your boundaries and recognize that not all motives behind words of affection and affirmation are pure. It might be wise to have a select few who can help you to discern such things, especially if you are more vulnerable to “praise.”
Understand that you will have to eat crow for all the critical thoughts and ungracious words you had toward the senior pastor while an associate.
Associate pastors often gripe about the decisions the senior pastor made and complain that they would do so much differently…and better! Like a child, it is easy to second-guess your parents…until, well, you become one.
Once you become a senior pastor you are going to realize that leading a church is not as easy as you thought. There is much more nuance to partnering with lay elders, leading meetings, shepherding a staff toward unity, helping a congregation grow in following Jesus ultimately (not you), and balancing family, sermon prep, leadership, administration, and personal discipleship.
Even though you are now in a position where you can make decisions, you will quickly find that the responsibility is quite demanding and sometimes exhausting. And that it’s a lot harder than you thought.
You will regret some of the ways you reacted to the “upper management” back in your former role. My word to you is this: Repent of your arrogance. And go back to that former lead pastor and ask his forgiveness. You may well find that you have an unexpected ally and advocate in him.
Understand that your transition may entail some unusual moments of spiritual attack and suffering.
I am not promising this will happen. Some of my friends have enjoyed gloriously smooth transitions. But there is something about the transfer of leadership that attracts the attention of the Devil, puts your head above the parapet, and paints a bullseye on your chest.
There is something about the transfer of leadership that attracts the attention of the Devil, puts your head above the parapet, and paints a bullseye on your chest.
Scripture and church history both reveal patterns of spiritual attack as godly men take up the mantel of spiritual leadership. Prepare yourself by expecting it and creating an intercessory prayer team that will do battle on your behalf.
And even as you do that, recognize that there is no way you will escape the pressure, pain, and suffering that come with leadership.
Understand that you will experience loneliness.
It is lonely at the top, they say. They’re right. Your new role is going to put you in a position that can keep former colleagues, lay leaders, and congregants at arm's length.
For one thing, there is often reticence to take up your time. People don’t want to be a bother to you.
As well, people are often intimidated by senior pastors. There is an aura around the role that can kill intimacy and the ability to make friends. Also, you will feel tempted to keep your cards close to your vest and to even assume a defensive posture due to the horror stories you have heard from senior pastors who saw vulnerability create problems.
Feeling a little alone at first is okay. Take it as an occasion to appreciate a special fellowship with the Lord enjoyed by those in significant positions. You will readily identify with Moses, Joshua, David, and Paul…not to mention Jesus Himself.
But also dive into community with others. Look for special friendships. Seek out other pastors in your area (this is super important, actually), and trust God to provide relationships in your community and even among the congregation.
In sum, moving into the left-hand seat of the cockpit can be a challenge. Indeed, it will be a challenge. But it is survivable.
Scripture has many success stories: Moses and Joshua, Elijah and Elisha, Paul and Timothy. Let these examples encourage you and “take the yoke” with confidence.
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