Make Room for Gratitude
…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
A while ago, upon getting home after traveling for a couple of weeks, I reached out to my 94-year-old mother to check in and see how she was doing. “Hey, Babe! I’m so glad you’re home!” she said. But as we chatted, I discovered that she had experienced a loss while we were gone.
Several months earlier, we had relocated her to an assisted living facility. She had adjusted to it quite well – in no small part due to a remarkable head nurse named George.
George and Mom hit it off, not only as caregiver and patient, but as friends. George would stop in to see her and linger to chat. On occasion, he would bring her a small gift or a special treat.
George was also present after a couple of falls in her apartment resulted in some injuries – a large skin tear on her arm and a few broken ribs. He helped her navigate the recovery period and was especially attentive to her. As you might imagine, Mom grew to love George.
The previous week, George had resigned. The pressure of having to work double shifts and odd hours took its toll. And my guess is that George didn’t lack for job offers.
So, George is gone. And my Mom is grieving his loss.
As we talked, she shared how sad she was. And how frustrated and even angry she was that her friend was no longer with her.
I tried to validate Mom’s disappointment and sought to comfort and reassure her.
And then a thought came to me. I asked Mom if, in the midst of all this negative emotion, there was room for another. When she asked what that might be, I said, “What about gratitude?”
I continued, “You enjoyed George for over six months. He was there in crucial moments. He helped you get settled in. He was a friend before you made other friends. He was there when you fell. George was a special gift. And though you are sad that he’s gone, you can be grateful for what you had.”
My Mom paused and then said, “You know I never thought about it that way. I can be sad, but I can also be thankful. That makes such good sense.”
By the end of our conversation, Mom had perked up and was feeling optimistic about the future. Giving thanks has a way of doing that for a person.
In All Circumstances
I’m wondering if that’s what was behind the words of the Apostle Paul as he admonished the Thessalonians to “…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ” (I Thessalonians 5:18).
Notice that he doesn’t say, “…give thanks for all circumstances.” In the case of my Mom, she would have been hard-pressed to give thanks for the loss of George.
But she could in fact give thanks in all circumstances. Not denying her sadness and sense of loss, she could still give thanks for the months that she had with George.
So how about you? Where are you experiencing pain, loss, sadness, or grief? To be sure, those emotions are real and understandable. But what if you would also make room for gratitude?
Here are some examples:
Though I am still grieving the loss of a loved one, I thank God for the years we shared.
Though I am experiencing the end of an era – with my career…my ministry – I thank God for the memories that were made.
Though I am facing the inevitable effects of aging, I thank God for the years of good health that I knew.
Though my kids are facing health issues, I thank God for the great doctors.
Though I didn’t get that raise, I thank God that I still have a job.
See how it works? The goal is not to disallow the pain, hurt, and sadness. The goal is to make room for another emotion: gratitude.
No wonder Paul said this was God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Because, when you do, you’ll see some sunshine break through the clouds.
originally published 3/27/2023
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