Just Show Up
When Job’s three friends…heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”
Job 2:11-13
The story is told about how a little girl was late walking home from school. Her worried mother, while relieved to finally hear the girl come into the house, spoke sharply to her about her tardiness.
“Where have you been? I told you to come home immediately after school,” the mother said.
“I’m sorry, Mommy,” the girl said. “But a friend of mine who I was walking with tripped and fell and skinned her knee.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you had to be late,” the mother continued. “What could you do?”
The little girl responded, “Well, I couldn’t really do anything. So, I sat down next to her and cried with her until she felt better.”
Out of the mouth of babes, eh?
The Power of Presence
How often is it that, when something bad happens to a friend, we don’t know what to say or what to do? Paralyzed by our fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, we keep our distance.
How often is it that, when something bad happens to a friend, we don’t know what to say or what to do? Paralyzed by our fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, we keep our distance.
I know that this can easily be my default. Then I was challenged by a friend who said, “Dave, you don’t need to do anything or say anything. Just show up!”
This idea of “the ministry of showing up” has challenged my thinking and affected my behavior. Many times people don’t expect you to do something great or say something profound. Just to be with them in their pain.
Job’s Friends
The Old Testament character, Job, experienced the devastating loss of, first, his property, and then his children. On top of all of that, he became afflicted with painful sores all over his body. His suffering was devastating.
The Bible tells us that three of his friends came to comfort him. When they found Job, we read how they sought to identify with him in culturally appropriate ways. But it’s what they did next that struck me.
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” ( Job 2:13)
Job’s friends displayed remarkable sensitivity to him. They sensed he didn’t need any profound words – just the gift of their presence. My guess is that Job was greatly comforted by this.
As the next chapters record, eventually, the men began to speak. The irony is that when they did so, they said all the wrong things in all the wrong ways and added to his misery.
There’s something to be learned here. Often the best thing we can do when comforting a hurting friend is to simply show up and sit with them in their suffering. Just show up.
They aren’t expecting profound words of wisdom. In fact, words are precisely what they don’t need. They just need your presence…your embrace…and your tears.
Often the best thing we can do when comforting a hurting friend is to just show up. They aren’t expecting profound words of wisdom. They just need your presence…your embrace…and your tears.
Simple gifts…but highly valued…and deeply appreciated.
Prayer
Lord, forgive me for the times I hesitated to go to a hurting friend because I was afraid I would say the wrong thing. Help me to remember the importance of the ministry of just showing up. And when I do that, teach me to limit my words and simply offer my arms.
Devotionals for Every Day Disciples is brought to you by our partners.
To support Dave DeSelm Ministries by becoming a partner, CLICK HERE.