A Friend to Hold Your Hand
“And Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God.”
I Samuel 23:16
In his book, When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough, Rabbi Harold Kushner tells a great story about the value of friends.
I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a girl and a boy, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sand castle by the water’s edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages.
Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand. I expected the children to bust into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work.
But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another castle.
I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spend so much time and energy creating, are built on sand.
Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody’s hand to hold will be able to laugh.
The Encouragement of a Friend
My favorite Old Testament character is David. His courage, his faith, his leadership, and his heart for God inspire me.
Yet David was not without his down times. A quick reading of the psalms shows that his times of praise and worship were accompanied by occasions of discouragement and lament.
Some of those darkest days were when, despite his loyalty to and even love for King Saul, David was accused of treason and pursued like an animal.
He was made to adopt the lifestyle of a fugitive and forced to live in a cave. Depression and even despair haunted him.
But there was one person who sought David out and strengthened his heart. Ironically, it was Saul’s son, Jonathan. Rather than this crown prince and heir to be throne being threatened by David, Jonathan chose to believe that David was God’s choice for the throne and his choice as friend.
Time and again, Jonathan proved his loyalty to David, even at the risk of his father’s wrath. Time and again, when all others abandoned David, Jonathan remained true. The verse noted above illustrates this in a beautiful way.
And Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God. And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel…” And the two of them made a covenant before the Lord.
I Samuel 23:16-18
Jonathan went out of his way, at great personal risk, to seek out his friend and encourage him. Because he did, David was able to take hope and soldier on.
Jonathan went out of his way, at great personal risk, to seek out his friend and encourage him. Because he did, David was able to take hope and soldier on.
Building a Friendship
This story calls all of us to ask a critical question: Do I have someone in my life who “strengthens my hand in God”? We all need someone like that.
Alas, many of us don’t. And we don’t know where to look.
Author Ray Johnston offers this word for those in that situation: “Friendships are not found – they’re built. I’ve talked to many people who say they can’t find friends. There is no ‘tree of friends’ to be found.”
Though that is the case, consider how you might at least “shake the bush” to see where a friend might surface. How and where you might engage in an activity where friendships might be formed, such as volunteering in your church?
The old adage is still true: Start being the kind of friend you hope to have.
Start being the kind of friend you hope to have.
PRAYER
Lord, at times I feel my castles have all been knocked down. And there’s no one to hold my hand. I would ask you to provide me with a “Jonathan.” I know that this kind of friend doesn’t grow on trees. So help me to take the next steps to put myself into some situations where that person might surface.
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