Come Apart Before You Come Apart
The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.
Mark 6:31-32
One of the challenges of ministry is its non-stop nature. The pressures and demands go on and on. It’s as if you’re on a never-ending merry-go-round and seat-belted onto the horse.
For example, if you’re in the pulpit weekly, you know that Sundays come around with amazing regularity. I remember those days well. It seems that I could barely celebrate making any sort of hit before I found myself once more up to bat.
Then there are the people demands. Hospital calls…connecting with visitors…counseling appointments. Oh yeah…and the weddings and the funerals and the high school graduation parties, etc,. etc.
The thing is, these aren’t bad things. In fact, they’re good things…even Kingdom advancing things. As such it seems like a crime to not take advantage of the opportunities that they allow for.
And doesn’t Scripture tell us to “take advantage of every opportunity” (Eph. 5:16)?
Yet in the verses noted above we see Jesus doing just the opposite. In the midst of ministry opportunities…right when it would seem the perfect moment to push harder…He calls His disciples to “come apart.”
Why? Because the Master knew that sustained discipleship is a function of healthy rhythms. That if you don’t come apart for a while, you will come apart in a while.
The Master knew that sustained discipleship is a function of healthy rhythms. That if you don’t come apart for a while, you will come apart in a while.
The Lord didn’t invite His men to step back and take a break because the work was done. In fact, the text makes it clear that the work wasn’t done. He tells them (commands them!) to cease and desist out of His recognition of their humanness even though the people were still coming and going.
A Plan to Come Apart
So how might you put such times into your schedule? Some time back I came across a genius plan from Rick Warren as relates to coming apart.
Divert daily: have a quiet time for the purpose of reconnection. To be sure, this can and should include interacting with Scripture and engaging in directed prayer. But it can also include occasions of quiet and solitude where you might encounter the Lord – leisurely walks and opportunities to linger with that which enriches you.
Withdraw weekly: take a day off for the purposes of recreation and re-creation. Though Sabbath was an OT command, it has NT example. Allow for a day (guilt free!) when it’s a matter not of “need to” but “get to.”
Abandon annually: get away for vacation for the purpose of relaxation. While family reunions and special trips are important, keep in mind that they can also be quite draining. Make sure you have enough “down time” that you don’t come back to work more tired than you left.
Let me add a fourth element:
Seclude seasonally: grab 2-3 days each quarter for the purpose of renewal or recovery. These occasions might especially be needed before a major kickoff such as in the fall when you need to spend additional time in prayer. Or after those “big push” events such as Christmas and Easter with all the extra services when you need to catch your spiritual breath.
Be Intentional
Mark it well: these times won’t simply “happen.” You can’t wait for the demands of ministry to ease or the responsibilities of leadership to slacken. There will always be plenty to fill your calendar.
Instead, let me encourage you to become the master of your calendar, rather than its servant. Place these days and times into your schedule well in advance. Mark them clearly as appointments to be kept as surely as any other.
Become the master of your calendar, rather than its servant.
One more helpful tip: include your wife in this planning process. Look for ways to have her join you in taking some time apart together. And schedule in times for her to have some breaks. Believe me, after she regains consciousness, she will rise up and call you blessed!
Will there be exceptions? To be sure. Extenuating circumstances will arise. Crises can’t be averted. Funerals can’t be scheduled.
But if you place these four habits into your schedule, you will at least have cause to pause. And to remember that if you don’t come apart for a while, you will come apart in a while.
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