Bend But Don't Break

What an unbelievable time we’re living in! The other day, my wife quietly observed, “It’s almost surreal. This can’t be happening.”

Yet it is. As a pastor or church leader you’ve faced crises before, but none like this. The issues are mind-numbing, and the pressures are backbreaking.

Consider what you’ve been suddenly forced to deal with in just a few weeks:

Developing online services.
Staying connected to your congregation.
Looking for ways to offer hope and reassurance.
Experiencing a severe loss of revenue.
Facing the possibility of laying off staff.
Anticipating the likelihood of your people getting sick…and even dying.

And that’s just a small sampling.

On top of all these, there is the concern you have for your family. Aging parents who are at risk. Confused kids who don’t understand why they can’t be with their friends. And a spouse who is just as harried and worried as you are.

You feel the need to shoulder this heavy burden. Yet you would do well to consider an old Native American proverb. It reads, “You will break the bow if it’s always bent.”

The wisdom behind that saying is always timely. However, it is even more appropriate in these unique days. Leaders who never take a break end up breaking.

Leaders who never take a break end up breaking.

As you’re reading this, you might be thinking, “Yeah, that sounds good… but…I just don’t have the luxury to back off. The needs are simply too great.”

While I can understand your thinking and appreciate your commitment, let me offer you a sobering warning. You have limits. And if you go down, the ripple effect on your family and church will be dramatic.

Like a team loses its spirit when their captain is on the bench and as an army loses its heart when their general is wounded, so those who look to you for leadership need you to stay in the game and on the field.

So let me offer a bit of counsel that might keep you from breaking under the pressure.

1. Maintain your connection with the Lord.

I mentioned this in last week’s post, but it’s worth repeating. Often in times of crisis when there are so many problems to solve and decisions to make, it’s easy to compromise your vertical focus. Yet Scripture tells us to “trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

The need for creative thinking is sky-high in this time. It’s by staying connected to the Creator that we find wisdom and access His guidance.

An empty leader is incapable of filling anyone. You are going to need to keep your spiritual tanks full if you hope to encourage and inspire others, much less to keep your own spirits up.

2. Spend quality time with your family.

With your church heavy on your mind, you will be tempted to focus your time and energy there. Yet, while that’s understandable, you need to remember that your family is your primary congregation. And if you don’t allow for an abundance of room for them, they will suffer.

Moreover, time with these special individuals can be tremendously restorative to you as well as them. Don’t neglect it – for their sake and for yours.

3. Connect with individuals that pour into you rather than drain you.

To be sure, this includes your immediate family. But it is also essential to stay close to others who provide a positive perspective and solid encouragement.

Come up with a short list of who those people might be. Then schedule regular online connections when you can build one another up.

4. Pay attention to your physical needs.

Cary Nieuwhof writes, “Three of the best things you can do when under stress are eat healthily, get plenty of sleep, and get exercise. They are also among the first to go in a crisis.”

It will be easy to neglect these physical aspects of your life in light of the pressure of this situation. Yet, if you allow that to become habitual, you will end up compromising your body which can lower your resistance and make you more vulnerable.

5. Step away from ministry mode.

Your heart and mind can only process so much. It’s tempting to wrongly apply Paul’s words, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” as a reason to keep the hammer down.

It’s tempting to wrongly apply Paul’s words, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” as a reason to keep the hammer down.

But you’re not a machine. You have limits. That being the case, it will be essential that you follow Jesus’ example and step away even though the needs are all around.

6. Engage in activities that are life-giving.

Though it may seem like a waste of time, you will find yourself restored if you allow for that which is enjoyable. Perhaps it’s watching a movie or losing yourself in a good book. Maybe it’s working on a jigsaw puzzle.

Consider leaning into a hobby. Gwen has found that painting is energizing. For me, it’s watching fishing shows and researching new lures.

I find that more times than not, diverting into such activities actually allows me to return to my responsibilities with a clearer mind and greater energy.

7. Intentionally look for an opportunity to laugh.

Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine….” There is something healing about laughter. So pursue it.

Take in a comedy special. Listen to a humorous podcast. Play a crazy game. Watch a funny movie.

8. Limit your exposure to the news.

It’s normal to want to stay up to speed on this ever-changing situation. However, to have CNN on non-stop can be a real downer.

The fact is, though news channels do provide a necessary service, a steady diet of dire predictions and bad news can be soul-sapping. So watch your intake.

This list certainly isn’t exhaustive. However, following these suggestions might help you ease back on the bow to the point where you bend but not break.

This crisis won’t be over quickly. As such, you need to see it as a marathon, not a sprint. So, monitor and manage your emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual energy that you can finish the race well.

And remember that though it can seem very lonely to lead in times such as these, you’re not alone. The familiar words of Psalm 46 promise us that in no uncertain terms.

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

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